Can We Just Be Normal?
by pommedeplume
Summary: (November 20, 1999) Sirius Black and his boyfriend Remus Lupin go on a date and Sirius worries about the way the world and his family view people like them. Part 6 of All That We Have Left series


_November 20, 1999_

When Sirius stepped off the bus, Remus was waiting with a smile. He was wearing Sirius's favourite maroon sweater. Sirius hadn't told Remus that he mostly liked it because it was a little too tight for his torso but he suspected that Remus wouldn't be bothered by that.

"Hi," Sirius said.

Remus reached over and touched Sirius's arm through his black coat affectionately. They rarely risked more than that in public. Sirius didn't think Remus liked public displays of affection much anyway.

"Well," Remus started, pulled his hand away and finished, "shall we go?"

"Let's," Sirius said, feeling excited.

The boys headed down the sidewalk to the Museum of Science and Industry. Sirius was almost shocked that he hadn't made it over here since he moved to Manchester two years ago. It was certainly the sort of thing that interested him. He had been delighted when Remus invited him. Remus had been before when he was still small but claimed he barely remembered it.

As they passed shops and office buildings on the way to the museum, Sirius was ever so tempted to hold Remus's hand. He ached for the freedom to show his love for his boyfriend publicly but fear overwhelmed him. Even if they didn't get harassed there was still a fear that somehow someone who knew him and his parents would say something to his parents and everything would come crashing down.

If his parents so much as suspected he guilty of any deviant behaviour they would whisk him away back to London or perhaps send him to boarding school for the remainder of his schooling, something that had nearly happened before they moved to Manchester for business.

It was funny, but Sirius hadn't wanted to leave London. Manchester was too new and industrial for his liking. London… well it was London! There was history everywhere you looked. Of course, he didn't know that Manchester would have Remus… or James for that matter.

As they approached the museum, Sirius had a strange thought that if you blinked you might even think you were in America. But as he looked up at the grey sky, he realised that there was no mistaking British weather.

Remus and Sirius started their day with the Air and Space Hall. Sirius loved watching Remus's eyes light up at the sight of aeroplane replicas and old cars. Remus had always claimed that he didn't care for cars but he still seemed rather taken by an old Ford Model T.

Next they went over to the Power Hall. Sirius thought there was something sort of romantic about the notion of steam engines and a world that existed before electricity. From the Power Hall they went to view the world's oldest railway, the Liverpool and Manchester Railway. Sirius was impressed with the important place in history the railway had.

"I shall have to remember to pick up some books on railway history at the library sometime," Sirius muttered as they made their way over to the 1830 Warehouse.

"I may have something. I was very interested in trains when I was younger," Remus said.

Sirius smiled at him and nodded in approval.

Throughout the rest of the day they saw many interesting exhibitions, including some fascinating ones on chemistry, computers and time. As much as he enjoyed the museum, to some degree Sirius was glad when they were done. They carried on from there by catching a bus back to Remus's flat, where he had promised Sirius afternoon tea.

Sirius sat at the dining table in Remus's flat staring at his empty tea cup absently. Remus tapped his hand and stirred Sirius back to life. Sirius laughed then grabbed Remus's hand, which he kissed tenderly.

"Am I boring you?" Remus asked.

"No. Of course, not! I've just been thinking… things are getting tense at home. My mum looks at me sometimes… it's almost like she knows, somehow," Sirius said, gazing at Remus's warm, concerned smile.

"Knows? Knows what?" Remus said then licked his lips.

Sirius sometimes found it hard not to stare at Remus's mouth. Remus had caught him once, worried that Sirius was gawking at the scar that went across his face. But it was Remus's lips and the way he used them that drew Sirius's attention.

"That I'm gay, of course," Sirius replied.

"How could she know?" Remus asked, leaning onto the table on his elbows, his face rested against the side of his arm.

Sirius sighed and shook his head.

"I don't know! It's always been this way with her. Like she knows I'm doing something she doesn't approve of and is just waiting for me to slip and give up the bloody game," Sirius said, feeling himself beginning to shake with anxiety.

Remus leaned across the table and put a hand on Sirius's hands gently. Remus's hands were soft and his touch was always firm but gentle. Remus smiled up at Sirius. Remus always had a way with calming him.

"We've been careful, haven't we? I wouldn't worry," Remus said.

Somehow, Sirius believed him. He _wanted_ to believe him. Tears filled Sirius's eyes as Remus leaned over further and pressed his soft lips into Sirius's. Sirius was filled with emotion and shaking no longer in anxiety but in the fragility of his love for Remus.

Remus moved from his chair and crouched next to Sirius, placing his hands on Sirius's shoulders as their lips continued to move together, tasting each other's heat. Remus dragged his mouth to Sirius's ear and said, "I _want_ you… but my parents and sister will be home soon."

Sirius pressed the side of his face into Remus's and replied, "That's all right. Gives me something to dream about."

Remus bit his lip, giggled then snogged Sirius again before pulling away and saying, "Don't waste it all on dreams, Sirius. Make sure to save some for me later."

"You can count on it," Sirius answered, then wiped the tears from his eyes.

Sirius stood up from the table and sighed.

"Do you think there will ever come a time when people like us… when we can just be seen as normal?" Sirius asked.

Remus didn't answer, seeming caught off guard by the question.

"That's the real problem isn' it? It's not my mum… it's… it's everyone," Sirius answered.

Remus seemed almost afraid to answer.

"I was thinking about it today. I mean… I always do. How can I not? How can I not think about the fear I feel when I'm out with my boyfriend?" Sirius asked.

"I don't know. I hope so," Remus finally answered.

"Me too," Sirius said and grabbed Remus's hand and squeezed it tightly.

"I hope so," Remus repeated then leaned up and kissed Sirius on the forehead.

Sirius then walked to the door and grabbed his coat.

"Thanks for the date, Remus. It was lovely," Sirius said with a smile.

"Cheers," Remus said and Sirius left.


End file.
